


part of your world.

by devilvibes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Character Death, Death, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of Death, Minor Character Death, Prince Sakusa Kiyoomi, Soft Kisses, They love each other, Trauma, War, childhood friends to lovers ig, commoner atsumu miya, im sorry idk how to tag, rendezvous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:06:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28252863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilvibes/pseuds/devilvibes
Summary: Kiyoomi Sakusa is a prince, and Atsumu Miya is the commoner he grew to love.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 52





	part of your world.

**Author's Note:**

> The fic is set around the 1910s.

As Atsumu’s mother, Fumiko, watched him and his twin brother, Osamu, run around the grassy field, joy filled her heart and soul as she saw her children enjoy the simple wonders of life. These innocent young boys were her most precious treasures, and each day, she’d thank God for giving her the two little angels she had in her life.

Atsumu’s tattered clothes were simply composed of dirty, old rags and towels his mother had found in the streets. His clothes were oversized on him, so that his mother didn’t have to sew and search for more rags each year. He didn’t mind, though, because he fully understood the situation they were in, and as long as he had something to wear, he believed he’d be fine. He was satisfied with the life he was in.

His father had passed away from Pneumonia during the 1918 pandemic, when his twin brother and he were at the fresh age of 5, leaving his mom, a seamstress for the queen, to become the family’s breadwinner. Since her mother was working directly for the queen, she was provided with enough income to support her family. She even worked as a baker, providing delicious pastries and breads for her village.

Pure and sweet, Atsumu wasn’t also the type to judge other people. He was always ready to help, no matter how different the person is from him. His mother taught him to never judge a book by its cover. Needless to say, he became loved by everyone in the village. He was an innocent boy, full of smiles and nothing but a big heart. The old beggar he had convinced his mother to give free bread to, the blind lady whom he assisted while walking around the village, and many more people he had helped would surely never forget his acts of kindness.

He was 7 when his family had first set foot inside the large palace, chosen to serve as an assistant to the prince, because the king and queen negotiated with his mother, that they’ll provide them shelter in the palace with free food and clothes, provided that the twins would become their child’s friends, and that she would become the queen’s court lady, one day. The king grew very fond of his happy-go-lucky, carefree, energetic and ambitious spirit when he strolled around the kingdom one day.

Atsumu was, perhaps like a butler, yet was requested to act like the prince’s best friend, due to his very young age and the prince’s lack of social interaction and opposing personality. Osamu, on the other hand, chose to help out his mother in serving the queen while also keeping company of the prince’s cousin, Rintarou Suna.

While other kingdoms, classist as ever, saw this as something _not very “royally”_ , they’d use every chance they’d get to bring the innocent boys down so their sons or daughters could replace his position as the prince’s best friends. Yet the king was still persistent; he thought that this would be a good idea to raise his kid up respecting commoners like the Miya twins.

“Are you sure about exposing your son to _filthy_ peasants, King Takao?” the queen of the Daishou Kingdom had asked.

“I sure am.” the king let out a happy chuckle.

“We’ll see about that.”

“Ah, you definitely will. I do not want my son to grow up spoiled and selfish despite all the privileges and wealth he has. I am sure of my decision, Queen Asami. Let me raise my son up the way I want to. Do not judge nor dictate to me what you want me to do. I do not want to see _my son_ scorn those who are not of royalty as they are human too. They are not pigs, cows, dogs, pets nor livestocks—they are _not_ garbage which you can throw around and treat like rats—keep that in mind.”

The queen was left speechless.

The moment Atsumu had set foot inside the large palace, its white pristine walls blinded his eyes. He wasn’t used to this type of bright lighting. In the past seven years of his life; he had been confined inside a small house with very dim lights as the only options to illuminate the surroundings. His eyes glistened in awe at the golden and expensive decorations it had. He was excited yet nervous. The large, Classical interior of the palace overwhelmed him so much. Everything seemed so delicate and new at that moment, like he was entering a whole new universe.

“This is my son, Kiyoomi Sakusa.” he was greeted by the king. His voice was loud and intimidating, yet the tone of his voice was welcoming and sweet.

A young boy about Atsumu’s age with black, wavy hair shuffled from behind the king’s back. He looked at him with utter disgust and fear because of his appearance and his energetic aura.

“That’s your assistant, Atsumu Miya. He’ll be your friend.” the king pointed at Atsumu, voice softening as he saw his son’s eyes quiver in fear.

“You can call me Atsumu, your highness!” Atsumu enthusiastically greeted, bowing and sticking his hand out for a handshake.

“Yeah, right.” Kiyoomi uttered, ignoring his hand. He didn’t want to touch his potentially dirty hands, and his energy seemed to be draining the fuck out of him right away.

Atsumu immediately figured out that their vibes, energy level, and personalities didn’t match, which is the reason why he avoided talking to him the first few hours they were together, no matter how much he wanted to.

The silence was too uncomfortable, almost suffocating, and Atsumu followed Kiyoomi around the palace like a companion dog. Each time Osamu saw him, he’d burst out laughing while making fun of him. He wanted to start a conversation with his new potential friend so badly, but he was too scared because Kiyoomi was the prince, and he looked like he would bite him if he heard him breathe.

“I know you want to say something. Go on, say it.” Kiyoomi’s words were sharp, almost demanding. The tone of his voice sounded like he was uninterested in whatever Atsumu wanted to say.

 _Brat_. That was Atsumu’s first impression of the prince and also what he wanted to tell him. He felt like he was the type to throw tantrums whenever he didn’t receive what he wanted, and that thought alone disturbed him because how could he get along with someone who wasn’t in the same social class as he was, let alone someone who opposed his personality?

“Y-You… I’m scared of y-you…” his voice was shaky, and tears started to gather at the corners of his eyes. He was about to cry, so he bit his tongue in an attempt to hold back his tears and swallow them.

“Why are you going to cry?” the black-haired boy sternly asked, tone firm and forcing. “You see, I don’t bite, Atsumu. There’s nothing to be scared of about me. I may be the prince and you’re the son of my mother’s seamstress, but I’m human like you, and my father taught me that our social class shouldn’t matter at all. I know I seem to look disgusted earlier, but it was solely because of your appearance and your greasy hair.” he sounded intelligent with the words that spilled out of his mouth, intimidating Atsumu even more. “Tell me, how many times have you washed your hands today?”

“Um, twice, I think.”

“Only twice? That’s the problem.”

_Rude, but what can you expect from someone from royalty?_

Kiyoomi never really thought of Atsumu as someone who was lower than him despite the fact that he knew that he was more privileged than Atsumu could ever be. It’s just his appearance and hygiene which made him uncomfortable around him. Atsumu was a big mess - he liked playing in the castle’s garden and came back with dirt all over his clothes. Kiyoomi was unbothered by how other princes and princesses who stopped by to interact with him described Atsumu as a peasant and lowlife, even to the extent of trying to convince him that Atsumu acted like a pig. He saw all the goodness in him. It even came to the point wherein he had to stand up for Atsumu when he was being mocked and bullied by princes Suguru Daishou and Yuuji Terushima.

“Atsumu, you should’ve gone back home to the farm and ate mud with your family.” Suguru had cracked that joke, with Yuuji laughing alongside him. It was enough to irk Kiyoomi.

“The pigs in this room are the two of you, Suguru and Yuuji. I will not tolerate this rude behavior. That’s not funny. Atsumu is human like the three of us, and most certainly not a pig.” Kiyoomi had slammed his hand on the dinner table as he shot up from his seat. “You act like rats. Get out of my castle, I refuse to be friends with people who do not know how to respect others. Check your privileges, then shut up.”

Suguru and Yuuji only stared at Kiyoomi with shock.

It really didn’t take long for Kiyoomi to warm up to Atsumu, because he finally had someone about his age to talk to. He only had problems because they were from different social classes, so it was difficult for him to relate to him.

Kiyoomi was homeschooled throughout his elementary days, because his parents didn’t want to put his life at risk. Their family had always been a target for murders, and recently, one of the king’s brothers had been murdered. He wasn’t deprived of social interactions, though, because other kingdoms and his cousins frequented the kingdom.

Kiyoomi grew up helping Atsumu educate himself with new words, mathematics, science, and other subjects. He’d lend some textbooks which he no longer used to Atsumu, which led the young boy to visit the palace’s library every now and then. He was motivated to become like Kiyoomi, intelligent and educated.

“Hey, let’s study.” Kiyoomi let out a sigh of relief as he dropped the five heavy textbooks he had carried from the royal library on his desk, a loud _thud_ produced as the textbooks and polished wooden surface met.

Atsumu sat on Kiyoomi’s desk “You’re reading all of those?” he asked with disbelief. He curiously looked at the thick textbooks which Kiyoomi had placed on his desk, wondering how someone could be so hardworking and eager to learn. He wondered if Kiyoomi would be able to understand all those books and how long it would take him to shut the book close because he got bored. He knew that Kiyoomi liked reading books, though, but would he _really_ be able to read all of that?

He fell asleep on the library’s couch as Kiyoomi read the textbooks. By the time he had woken up, there’s a blanket over him which he recognized as the prince’s, and Kiyoomi had already fallen asleep on his desk. He quietly stacked up the books the prince had brought in and set them aside.

“Omi-Omi.” he gently shook the prince to wake him up. “Go sleep in your room.”

Atsumu stood stiffly next to Kiyoomi as he watched the younger boy prepare the materials for the _so-called_ science experiment one of his textbooks had. Atsumu’s mother was there to supervise, though, because the king and queen wouldn’t want a big mess happening in the study room, let alone have the stench of vinegar all over the place.

Atsumu’s mother prepared the paper machete figure of the volcano with a soda bottle inside on a tray. There’s a glint of excitement that could be evidently seen in Kiyoomi’s eyes. His little hands poured the vinegar, water, dish soap, and two drops of food coloring into the little volcano. He stirred the solution carefully with a spoon before he had set it aside.

Foamy, red liquid ascended from the bottom of the soda bottle. Although the process of it rising up was not visible, Kiyoomi’s eyes were locked onto the bubbles it produced.

“That’s so cool!” Atsumu’s eyes gleamed at the sight, impressed with how those ingredients were able to form a mini visualization of a volcanic eruption.

“Hey, Omi-Omi.” Atsumu’s lively voice had come to bother him one day while he was reading a novel. He lied down on the black couch situated at the corner while Kiyoomi while playing with a Rubik’s cube. He was bored, he had nothing to do. He was too lazy to pick up one of the prince’s finished textbooks and read. He had to accompany Kiyoomi whether he liked it or not.

“What?” Kiyoomi’s voice is stern, like he wanted him to shut up.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“I… have no idea,” Kiyoomi paused. “Blue? Brown? Yellow? I have no idea. I never really thought about it.”

“Favorite food?”

“Umeboshi. Can you stop botheri—”

“No. That’s tasty. Favorite Miya twin?”

“And if I tell you it’s Osamu?”

“Really?! You spend more time with me than you ever did with him! I… I’ll cry!”

“That’s exactly why.” the prince teasingly replied.

“Kiyoomi!” Atsumu whined.

“Shut up now.”

Kiyoomi also liked escaping to the twins’ room whenever he had a nightmare or if he can’t fall asleep, but that only stopped when he turned 10 years old. He felt comfort in Atsumu’s arms more than he ever did with his parents. Maybe it’s because of the fact that he spent much more time with him than the king and queen. Atsumu and he had developed a strong, special bond at that point.

There were times wherein Kiyoomi mistook Osamu for Atsumu, and Atsumu for Osamu, and there were times wherein the twins would prank the prince and switch identities.

“Hey, ‘Samu.” Atsumu stared at the high ceiling of the bedroom he shared with his twin. “Let’s dye our hair, I’ll take blonde, you take gray.” he proposed in the calmest way possible, Osamu thought he was being ridiculous.

“And you think mother would allow that?” Osamu let out a short wheeze.

“I’m serious. Omi keeps mistaking you for me, and me for you. We should at least give him some distinction so he doesn’t lose his mind one day.”

Atsumu ended up winning the argument because their mother agreed that distinguishing the two could be quite confusing. They had the same hair color, yet different eye colors, but it’s still so easy for them to switch identities. After he dyed his hair blonde, Kiyoomi loved how his blonde hair matched his brown eyes perfectly.

On the prince’s sixteenth birthday, a birthday party had been held in the palace. Several monarchs had attended, and both Kiyoomi and Atsumu were forced to socialize and interact with other people. They were familiar with the other princes and princesses already.

Kiyoomi looked utterly ethereal before Atsumu’s eyes—his wavy, black hair was neatly styled and the pearl white suit that was bordered with golden laces and other golden accents he wore hugged his body just right. Atsumu badly wanted to kiss the two moles on the right side of his forehead. _How could someone be so perfectly beautiful?_ he wondered. Kiyoomi looked like a prince straight out of a Disney movie.

That was the first time he realized that he was attracted to his best friend. He wasn’t aware that he was, though, because he had never felt that way before. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach; it was an uneasy, new feeling, and he had never felt even more confused in life at that moment.

“What are you staring at, ‘Tsumu?” Kiyoomi jokingly asked. “Am I too handsome?”

Atsumu froze on the spot, “Yeah, Omi, you are.”

Kiyoomi felt his cheeks warm up at Atsumu’s reply. “You are, too.”

The ballroom was packed with monarchs of several ages, Kiyoomi actually didn’t expect this many people to attend. Most of the monarchs only attended for the sake of introducing their princesses to Kiyoomi, expecting them to one day, marry the prince, and he was aware of that. 

Time had passed by slowly, and it was already 10 in the evening. Most of the guests had already went home. Kiyoomi’s cheeks were flushed from the amount of alcohol he had ingested yet he wasn’t aware that he was already drunk.

“My prince, you’re drunk.”

“No, no— Just in love with you.” he chuckles flirtily.

Atsumu blushed, “Get up and go to sleep.”

“Good morning, my prince.” Atsumu happily barged in the prince’s bedroom, a cheerful smile on his face.

It was 7 o’clock in the morning—the set time for Kiyoomi to wake up, as ordered by the king and queen. Usually it wasn’t Atsumu who was supposed to wake Kiyoomi up, but the queen; however, Atsumu had asked the queen if he could take that responsibility instead so she wouldn’t have a hard time bugging him.

“Time for breakfast, Omi-Omi. I asked the chef to make pancakes. You said you liked them.”

“What’s gotten into you?” Kiyoomi jokingly asked, hopping out of his bed. “Are you sick? What made you so sweet all of a sudden?”

Tints of red showed up on Atsumu’s cheeks, he’s startled by the fact that Kiyoomi had noticed him grow sweeter towards him.

“Also, I know I never told you even though it’s been years but I really like your new hair. It’s my favorite color.”

Atsumu knew he was probably beet red at this point. _But did he have no idea about what he said last night?_

Kiyoomi chuckled, “Beet red at the slightest compliment? Adorable.”

It had become a part of Atsumu’s daily routine to wake the prince up and eat breakfast with him ever since that day.

Atsumu was seventeen when he had shared a sweet kiss with the prince. Like a cliché romantic movie, he felt like the whole world stopped the moment his lips met Kiyoomi’s.

Under a thousand bright stars, Atsumu and Kiyoomi lied down on the grassy field where Atsumu and Osamu used to run free on when they were children. The moonlight kissed their skin so beautifully, Atsumu was in awe with Kiyoomi’s beauty and fell deeper for the prince.

“Do you remember the first day we met and I made you cry because you were scared of me?” Kiyoomi let out a loud, happy laugh, reminiscing the first memories they had with one another.

“No, not funny.” Atsumu frowned.

“Are you still scared of me, ‘Tsum-’Tsum?”

Atsumu felt butterflies fly around his stomach at the nickname Kiyoomi had given him.

“No, I’m not.” his eyes locked with Kiyoomi’s black ones, “But I’m scared of losing you, Omi-Omi.” he continues. Fear took over his eyes at the thought of losing Kiyoomi one day. He asked himself what he would do if ever he disappeared one day, and how he would feel.

His eyes were locked onto Kiyoomi’s lips. His face slowly inched closer to the younger male’s, and within a few seconds, a chaste kiss was shared between the two of them. It was soft, sweet, and passionate, filled with love and innocence. It felt like lying down on a solid, fluffy cloud. They could stay like that forever, only if possible. It was both their first time kissing someone like that.

That night, Atsumu cried himself to sleep, thinking about what he would do if ever he lost Kiyoomi.

“Atsumu,” Kiyoomi weakly called out. “Can you kiss me good night?” he had asked, 

The next morning, Atsumu made it a habit to kiss Kiyoomi good night on the two moles on his forehead. It became a daily routine for the two of them, and Atsumu never missed a day, even if they had fought, or if Kiyoomi had already fallen asleep.

“Hey, Omi-Omi.” Atsumu had sneaked in his bedroom at exactly midnight. He knew Kiyoomi was still awake. “Do you want to go to one of my favorite places?”

There’s the thrill which Kiyoomi craved—getting caught in the middle of the night and there’s a big chance he’ll be reprimanded by the king. He nodded as a response. He was still slightly sleepy, though.

With silent footsteps, Kiyoomi and Atsumu quietly passed through the palace’s large hallway, long, wide stairs, and out the window so that they wouldn’t be caught if they passed through the huge, good and white doors. Atsumu had held the prince’s hand the entire time through the dim lights. They had escaped towards the stables.

Atsumu slowly, and in the most quiet way possible, retracted his horse from the stables.

“Only one horse?” Kiyoomi asked.

“Yeah, don’t worry. I got you. I talked to the gate guards earlier.” Atsumu replied.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted thrill?”

“Touché.”

Atsumu had maneuvered the horse out of the palace grounds with Kiyoomi’s arms tightly wrapped around his waist. The prince’s hair danced with the wind. Their skin glowed under the moonlight. It only took them a few minutes to reach the flowery field due to Atsumu’s harsh steering and the horse’s speed.

The view looked so pretty—there were flowers standing all around the field, and there was even a small river stream and lake. It looked like a Claude Monet painting. Atsumu had sat near the lake and Kiyoomi had followed suit.

“I never told you, my prince, but,” Atsumu took a deep breath and looked at Kiyoomi directly into the eyes. “I think I’m in love with you.”

“W-What?”

“I think I’m in love with you.” Atsumu sheepishly smiled. “I love you. Like, romantically.”

“I love you too, Atsumu.”

Their early morning rendezvous didn’t stop there, they frequently visited the flowery field at midnight. They’d silently gaze and admire the stars, talk about their emotions, their future plans, and what they wanted to do together.

“You know, one of the things I wanted to do is to invent a connection or portal to the divine realm.” Atsumu said. “You know, I want to talk to my father. My memories with him are very minimal. I know it sounds impossible, but maybe the impossible is possible and it’s simply the brain hindering us from making the impossible possible because we were made to believe that the impossible is impossible. Neuroscience—I’ve read a lot about it.”

That was only one of the many ideas Atsumu had blabbered about.

For the rest of the night, and all the other nights they had escaped from the palace, Atsumu talked about his ideas and ambitions. Kiyoomi diligently listened and gazed at the older male with love and admiration as he passionately spoke about his ambitions. He made a mental list of Atsumu’s bucket list, which he wrote on a notebook once he returned home. He was inspired by the blonde boy and his ideas.

They were eighteen when they both had to undergo military training in case a war occurs. This was mandatory for all men who are of legal age. Those who were of royal blood weren’t exceptions; they are expected to serve the country. It occurred twelve hours daily for a year, except for the weekends, when they get the chance to rest and stay at home. Majority of their schedule was focused on building up their strengths and stamina as well as their shooting skills.

A man in his early adulthood had stood in the middle of the flowery field. Kiyoomi had looked around but there were no signs of other people. He didn’t know who the man was, but he sure looked familiar. He approached him carefully.

The man had smiled at him and signaled him to sit down on the field beside him.

_“I’m the twins’ father. Please take care of Atsumu. Please promise me to keep him happy. Please don’t ever hurt him. I will be watching over the two of you. I know he loves you, and I miss him. I trust you, your majesty.''_

Before Kiyoomi had a chance to utter a word, the man had already disappeared and he had woken up from the dream. He had felt uneasy the morning after, and Atsumu wasn’t dumb. He noticed the sudden changes in Kiyoomi’s behavior. Maybe he was tired, had some paranormal experiences in his room, but maybe he also did something wrong.

“Omi, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” the prince replied. He gave him a reassuring smile. “I just— Your father showed up in my dreams one night.”

“Really? What did he say? What happened?”

“He was in the flowery field you really loved, standing there. He had a very welcoming aura and a smile on his face. I approached him and he introduced himself. He told me to take care of you and keep you happy, and that’s exactly what I want to do.”

“Oh, that’s cool.”

“Omi-Omi, what are we?” Atsumu had lied down beside Kiyoomi during one of their rendezvous. He realized that good night kisses, midnight rendezvous, and quiet, random “I love you”s to one another weren’t best friend things anymore. Osamu had even told him that those weren’t normal best friend things.

“What do you mean?” Kiyoomi was confused.

“I don’t know, would you call me your lover?”

“Of course I would. You’re my best friend _and_ the person I want to spend my eternity with, love.”

Atsumu was twenty, while Kiyoomi was nineteen when large tanks from an empire had come to obliterate the Sakusa Kingdom, firing missiles everywhere and mercilessly killing off their citizens.

Chaos had intruded in the villages of the Sakusa Kingdom, which led to citizens seeking refuge and evacuating from their homes. The gunshots were loud and continuous, it was nearing the palace itself.

“What the fuck?” Atsumu had exclaimed when he had heard the news.

That’s when the king decided to declare war.

Royal guards and the military had set out first, before the monarchs and other men who were qualified to take part in war also went into battle.

“Neither of us will die, yeah? Promise?” Atsumu stuck his pinky finger out. “We still have a lot to live for, my prince.”

“We’ll survive this together, Atsumu.” Kiyoomi wrapped his pinky finger around his.

“But if ever I do—”

“No, you won’t. Shut up.”

“Okay, _listen_ , I’m not saying that _I will_ , but there’s a chance right? So if ever I do, just keep in mind that I love you very much.”

“I won’t let that happen.”

Atsumu and Kiyoomi both rode their horses and traveled to the forest. Both of them also felt anxious and scared as they took part in battle, knowing that it would be possible for them to die at any time.

Hidden from the rest of the soldiers, Atsumu and Kiyoomi found someplace hidden from where the main action took place. Kiyoomi needed to reload his gun, while Atsumu needed to rest.

“Omi!” Atsumu had tackled Kiyoomi with his entire body as the prince reloaded his guns.

Thinking that Atsumu wanted a hug, the black-haired boy giggled, “Not now, Atsumu, we’re in the middle of a w—”

 _Bang_.

“A-Atsumu?”

A bullet had pierced through Atsumu’s chest. The blonde boy started to cough out blood all over Kiyoomi’s clothes. His chest bled badly from the bullet. He groaned from the pain.

“A-Atsumu!” he gently pushed him to the ground.

Out of rage, Kiyoomi was quick enough to spot and shoot Atsumu’s shooter. His attention was, then, drawn to Atsumu.

“Omi-omi…” Atsumu weakly called out. “Go save yourself, please. Leave me alone to die here.”

“No, I can’t leave you here!” Kiyoomi argued. “I-I’ll take you to the medic, hang on, will you?”

“I am merely a penniless commoner, and you have a lot to live for, my prince. I’ve lived the past twenty years happily serving and _loving_ you.” Atsumu smiled at him weakly. “You’ll find someone better than me if I die, Kiyoomi. I hope they love you as much as—” 

“Shut up or you’ll die!” Kiyoomi didn’t want to leave Atsumu out in the open, with a potential to get hurt even more. It was painful to see him injured, he was panicking at this point. He grabbed the first-aid kit he had packed and placed pressure on the wound to stop it from bleeding, he gently took the bullet out with tweezers and sealed the wound. It would do for the meantime. He carried Atsumu’s immobile body and sprinted towards the nearest medic he knew. If he had been shot on the way, then he wouldn’t give a shit at all. All he wanted was for Atsumu to live.

_“Take care of my son.''_

The voice of Atsumu’s father was like a mantra in his head. He would never want to hurt Atsumu. He carried him in his arms like what a mother would do to their infant child. That was the only thing he had in mind as he sprinted through the forest.

"I love you, Atsumu Miya." he whispered.

Kiyoomi had laid down Atsumu’s unconscious body on the ground when he reached the campsite. He was thankful that he wasn’t shot on the way, but he wanted to cry looking at his lover’s body on the ground.

“Will he be okay?” he asked the military doctor.

“We will see.” the doctor responded. “I cannot promise you full healing, but he is still alive.”

The war went on for only a day, because the opposition had retreated due to the fact that their soldiers were outnumbered. The village had fully been destroyed. It looked like a ghost town. Corpses had lied everywhere. It was a traumatizing sight to see, most especially for those who weren’t used to seeing dead bodies, splattered organs, and blood all over the place.

Kiyoomi prayed and prayed for Atsumu’s healing, though he wasn’t a religious man. He just wanted to see Atsumu live another day. He wanted to see him fulfill his dreams. He wanted to see him smile everyday. He wanted to spend his eternity with him.

But shit, Lord, it did hurt so bad when he heard the words, “ _Atsumu Miya has been declared dead._ ” leave the military doctor’s lips. He broke down, grabbed the doctor’s collar and shouted at him out of anger, only to be pulled away and scolded at by his mother.

7:21 pm. The exact time Atsumu was pronounced dead. He was no longer breathing, nor did he have any pulse.

It broke Kiyoomi. It broke his heart, mind, and soul. He was in shock, in disbelief, and in denial that the person he loved the most had already entered the afterlife. Heck, he even had to watch him take a bullet for him, suffer, and bleed out because he rescued him. He thought, would the situation have been better if he was the one who got shot right through the chest, and it wasn’t Atsumu, who had so much more dreams and wishes to fulfill? He knew he had so much ambition, much more than he had. He had so many ideas that were left untold. While they were bizarre and fantastical, these ideas were still possible. But unfortunately, he can’t turn back time.

Everything came crashing down in one go. He felt like the whole world dropped to his feet. He was confused as well—was he supposed to feel angry because of the enemy, sad because of the fact that Atsumu had already passed away, or disappointed with himself because things wouldn’t have turned out like this if he was the one who was shot? He took the blame. He will never forget the sound of Atsumu groaning in pain, as well as his screams. He will never forget the sight of Atsumu’s blood oozing out from his chest and mouth when he got shot.

 _It traumatized him_.

Kiyoomi was beyond devastated after Atsumu’s death. He had locked himself in his room for months and chose not to speak to anyone, not even his parents even if they already showed great concern. His father had shouted at him through the door at some point. Each time he went out of the room, he couldn’t even look at Osamu either because of how much he resembled his past lover. He didn’t like how his blanket covered his body nicely on a cold day, wishing it was Atsumu keeping him warm with his body instead. Day by day, he’d wish he had died beside Atsumu. He didn’t even believe in pinky promises anymore.

He lost his best friend. He lost his lover. He lost the person whom he promised to spend his eternity with. He felt like a part of him was lost. He felt empty. He was numb. There’s only a mix of sadness, anger, frustration, and disappointment in his brain. Truth be told, he’s close to insanity.

Atsumu was no longer there to wake him up at 7 o’clock in the morning daily. He was no longer there to eat his breakfast with him, the blonde boy’s smile was enough to boost his serotonin. He was no longer there to bid him a “good night” and give him a kiss on his two moles before he went to sleep. He was no longer there to run his fingers through his wavy locks while whispering romantic “I love you”s to him. Kiyoomi wouldn’t hear Atsumu’s laughter after he does something utterly stupid or whenever he’d crack a corny joke. He’d no longer hear his voice. He’d no longer hear Atsumu’s daily compliments about him as well. He wouldn’t hear him bicker with Osamu about the littlest things. He’d miss the way Atsumu would passionately talk about his goals. He would never feel his soft lips against his anymore.

 _He’d miss them all_.

Kiyoomi realized that he would no longer have to escape the royal guards and strong, iron gates of the palace with his horse at 2 o’clock in the morning just to rendezvous with Atsumu in the wide field they first kissed on, or the flowery hills quite far away from home, where they first confessed their love for one another. Those were two of Atsumu’s favorite places, next to the palace’s kitchen and garden.

 _Everything was so sudden_.

There were three knocks to his door, “Kiyoomi,” Fumiko’s soft voice called out. “May I come in for a bit? I want to talk to you.”

She had been worried for him in the past months after Atsumu died. Kiyoomi wasn’t taking care of himself properly—she knew—he ate less, slept very late, wore the same pajamas for a week, and did not even bother leaving his room. Sometimes she’d hear him cry, scream, and throw objects across his room in the middle of the night. This worried the king and queen, too.

Kiyoomi stared at the door, hesitant to open it. But he thought that _maybe_ she needed something from him, and it was rude to send her off, especially because of the fact that it was _Atsumu_ ’s mother. With weak legs, he shakily opened the door. “H-Hello, Mrs. M-Miya…” his voice was shaky as well. He was guilty for not being able to save Atsumu. “I-I’m s-sorry… I’m s-so sorry... I-I wasn’t able to save y-your s-son…” warm tears streamed down his cheeks. He buried his face on his palms, whimpering softly.

“Don’t be sorry, Kiyoomi.” Fumiko genuinely smiled at him. She pulled him in for a soft hug, rubbing his shoulder lightly in an attempt to comfort him. “Don’t blame yourself for my son’s death. Atsumu is in a better place now. One day, you’ll be able to meet him again.”

 _He hated hearing his name_.

“I know you were in love with him and he was deeply in love with you too. You don’t have to feel guilty nor should you blame yourself for his death. We’ll all die, eventually. It just so happened that he had to die so suddenly. He willingly sacrificed his life for you because he loved you and wanted you to live. Do you think he’d want to see you cry right now? He’d want to see you smile and be happy, darling.” Atsumu’s mother pulled him in for a soft hug. “None of these were your fault, Kiyoomi. I’m thankful that you didn’t let him die out in the open. I know you’re devastated right now, but trust me, you have a long way to go. You’ll meet new people. You’re still young. Maybe you’re scared that you won’t be able to meet someone like Atsumu, but there are more than billions of people living on this Earth. You need to let him go. The memories are important, yes, but my son would want to see you heal and smile again. Smile for him now, will you? Atsumu will be your guardian angel now.”

“How… How were you able to cope up with your husband’s d-death?”

“It was tough, really.” she replied. “He was a kind man. His death was sudden, though expected, but I managed to move on and accepted the fact that he was already gone. I distracted myself from his death, told myself that he was in a better place already—that he’s going to be the family’s angel. I cried it all out. I got used to not seeing him everyday. Overtime, I healed. You just have to accept it, Kiyoomi. Find a way to help you cope. Feeling this way is normal. Get a good night’s rest now, hm? Sleep well.”

_I hope he’s with his father now._

After Fumiko exited his room, he laid down on his bed.

_Atsumu Miya, thank you for being a part of my world. Let's meet again soon._


End file.
